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How can I reason with my parents?
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Default How can I reason with my parents? - 08-15-2013, 08:27 AM

As some of you know, I have a....rocky relationship with my parents. I've narrowed the root of our problems into two points: My parents are hypocrites, and we have communication problems. Asking advice for communication problems on this thread.

My parents are old-school. I wouldn't mind it so much if they'd at least let me reason with them. I've noticed that over the past two years, their fuses have been getting shorter and shorter. Everytime I try to talk to them about something that I disagree with, they start yelling about how disrespectful and spoiled kids are these days. I've tried sitting down with them and talking about things in a fair, face-to-face way, but it just ends up with them ranting about how stupid and immature I still am, and how I'm going to end up as a lazy homeless failure. The more I talk to them, the madder they get, and the madder they get, the more they take away the things I love. I like to use the computer, they lock it down. I enjoy reading in my room, they donate all of my books. I like biking, and the forbid me from going anywhere. I'm losing my teenaged years, filled with their broken promises and drained of happiness. I feel like every time I fail at adult communication a little bit of me breaks, and it's been happening every day.

tl;dr version: They won't let me reason with them. Every attempt has ended with them blowing up and taking away more of what I was trying to protect.

How can I talk to my parents if they keep yelling at me?
  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:29 AM

I had the same issue a few months ago.
I doubt you'd be looking for the same fix I did, but I just cut off all communications with them and stopped spending time at home. When I am at home, I'm in my room.

Also, when they talk about stuff you don't necessarily agree with, just don't respond and then they will have no reason for conflict.



tl;dr Let them think they're always right. It's not like you're gonna live with them that much longer.




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Originally Posted by Immortality View Post
@Gir @Brittany any other server I try to play they make fun of me because they have seen this post
And they dont admit who they are because they are too pussy to do so and you know what would make me feel better? Wiping a warrior and dragon 2h

  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin View Post
I had the same issue a few months ago.
I doubt you'd be looking for the same fix I did, but I just cut off all communications with them and stopped spending time at home. When I am at home, I'm in my room.

Also, when they talk about stuff you don't necessarily agree with, just don't respond and then they will have no reason for conflict.



tl;dr Let them think they're always right. It's not like you're gonna live with them that much longer.
Not talking to them makes it ten times worse. They've also forbidden me from using my room during the day since they want to "keep an eye on me". I'm also not allowed to leave the house unless they give permission and they think every time I agree with them I'm being sarcastic.
  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:33 AM

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Originally Posted by N0vlafye View Post


Not talking to them makes it ten times worse. They've also forbidden me from using my room during the day since they want to "keep an eye on me"
Go out all day then. I usually just ride my bike to my friends house or to the park and just stay there all day long. If that doesn't do the trick, get a job so they have no excuse for keeping you




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Originally Posted by Immortality View Post
@Gir @Brittany any other server I try to play they make fun of me because they have seen this post
And they dont admit who they are because they are too pussy to do so and you know what would make me feel better? Wiping a warrior and dragon 2h

  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N0vlafye View Post
As some of you know, I have a....rocky relationship with my parents. I've narrowed the root of our problems into two points: My parents are hypocrites, and we have communication problems. Asking advice for communication problems on this thread.

My parents are old-school. I wouldn't mind it so much if they'd at least let me reason with them. I've noticed that over the past two years, their fuses have been getting shorter and shorter. Everytime I try to talk to them about something that I disagree with, they start yelling about how disrespectful and spoiled kids are these days. I've tried sitting down with them and talking about things in a fair, face-to-face way, but it just ends up with them ranting about how stupid and immature I still am, and how I'm going to end up as a lazy homeless failure. The more I talk to them, the madder they get, and the madder they get, the more they take away the things I love. I like to use the computer, they lock it down. I enjoy reading in my room, they donate all of my books. I like biking, and the forbid me from going anywhere. I'm losing my teenaged years, filled with their broken promises and drained of happiness. I feel like every time I fail at adult communication a little bit of me breaks, and it's been happening every day.

tl;dr version: They won't let me reason with them. Every attempt has ended with them blowing up and taking away more of what I was trying to protect.

How can I talk to my parents if they keep yelling at me?
Well my father was once annoying me and really the only thing you can do is to get even worse than them. Get mader than them and it's fine.

For example my father started shouting, I shouted back. Then he was like ill cut you up. He didn't have the balls to take the knife and I took it. The only thing here works is to make your point you're not a child anymore. If they want to fight, then fight back and that twice as much.

They're living in their own little world and unless you crush their world nothing will really change, since they see you as a child and in ranks of hierarchy you're under them. Crush it and take the power for yourself



  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:33 AM

Think of it this way your parents all was have to be right by you telling them so, but that doesn't necessarily mean they are right. They just won't have any issues with you. They won't bother you at all. People like to be right and discard anything that could prove them wrong.
  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:35 AM

Tell them that you want to do drugs, but the only thing holding you from doing so is the comp/bike/books


  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:36 AM

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Originally Posted by Guled View Post
Tell them that you want to do drugs, but the only thing holding you from doing so is the comp/bike/books
Not all parents would believe that.
  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shqiptar View Post
Well my father was once annoying me and really the only thing you can do is to get even worse than them. Get mader than them and it's fine.

For example my father started shouting, I shouted back. Then he was like ill cut you up. He didn't have the balls to take the knife and I took it. The only thing here works is to make your point you're not a child anymore. If they want to fight, then fight back and that twice as much.

They're living in their own little world and unless you crush their world nothing will really change, since they see you as a child and in ranks of hierarchy you're under them. Crush it and take the power for yourself
I've thought about that. I'm usually a pacifist, but I can see where this strategy comes from. If this continues, perhaps I'll let myself snap.
  
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Default 08-15-2013, 08:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by N0vlafye View Post


I've thought about that. I'm usually a pacifist, but I can see where this strategy comes from. If this continues, perhaps I'll let myself snap.
trust me the best thing to do is to snap, since the fuses are getting shorter not only on their end but on yours too. Imo that's what belongs to growing up. If you want to grow up and be your own man you gotta defend the stuff you cherish.

Gl with it, that's why it's called by the adults "the puberty here the puberty there" (meaning: they're ignoring the adult's commands). That's what just belongs in every family with children.



  
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