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One of those moods.
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Default One of those moods. - 11-10-2012, 11:42 AM

I'm in one of those moods where I just want to write a massive essay explaining why I am feeling the way I'm feeling so that possibly I can come to some sort of conclusion and sort out my feelings.

I doubt anybody's actually going to care about what I'm about to write, which is fine. I just want to get it out there so that I can then read it as if I were someone else and see what sort of advice I could give myself, and I feel that writing it up and reading it back to myself is the best method of reflection.

So here's my problem; I've been single for 8 months now and I've been sleeping around with girls without having any commitments. I wanted to stay single for a while after my last relationship because I didn't want to have to go through all of the heat-ache of another one if I were to get into it and it was to end, because honestly some of the things I felt after my last relationship ended were literally killing me.

Everything in life has been really good for the past 8 months, and when I say really good, I do genuinely mean it. I had no problems when it came to girls, as feelings just weren't present after I'd had sex, so going out to town each weekend and picking up a girl, taking her back and whatnot became somewhat enjoyable. Being young I guess that's what you're supposed to do. Have fun and do silly things.

However, recently I've been talking to another girl. Now, I've talked to a few girls as in 'sharking' for those of you who don't know what that is, it's where you basically try to go after someone you wouldn't mind a piece of. Most of the time just to get them into bed, sometimes because you want more than just the sex. This time, I want more than just sex. I've only met her once, I haven't had sex with her and to be honest I'm not bothered about having sex with her at all at this stage, I just want to get to know her and do all that cute stuff like go to the cinema, curl up on the couch eating pizza and watching films, going on cute walks.

It sounds really lame but I really like her. There's just one problem. She's extremely confusing... I've never talked to someone so confusing. I know everyone (that goes for girls and boys) acts a little weird and confusing sometimes, but this is something I haven't came across before. I'm the type of person who likes to talk about things. If someone has a problem and they talk about it to me I'm able to give them a decent answer to it, including my own opinion and other opinions that people could have on their situation. The girl I'm talking to doesn't like to talk about things, so this is where things get pretty confusing.

I asked her at the beginning of the week (Monday), if she wanted to do something on Thursday. She initially said yes, so I asked her what she would like to do and her constant answer was "I don't know". This answer was repeated even when I suggested things, such as "Do you want to go to the cinema and see..." to which she replied "I don't know". Now, I have no idea what I'm supposed to reply to that. So I responded with, "Well, do you want to, or do you not want to?" and she said "I don't know". I kept on asking, and said that I needed her to answer the question, and in the end she said she couldn't do Thursday, so could we re-schedule. I said yes and we were supposed to be meeting tonight, to go and watch a film. I asked her today "So, are we still going to see... tonight" to which she replied "I don't know". So I said, well, I don't know what you want me to do, I've suggested things and to be honest it seems like you're put off the idea of coming out. If you are, just say?" But she's dominant that she wants to do something with me.

So, the girl wants to do something, but she doesn't know what she wants to do. And, when I ask her about organising it, such as where we're going, what time etc... she always replies with "I don't know". I have no idea what I can actually do about this. I'm talking to her right now and she's still doing the same thing. It's absolutely pecking my head.


Anyone out there have an answer for this?


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Default 11-10-2012, 11:51 AM

Hmm..
First of all, I read all of this, if that makes you feel any better.
Second of all, the fact that you like this girl for more than just sex is great, and it's natural. At some point for most people just drifting around sleeping around isn't what you want anymore, and in my mind people who do settle for just that are scum.

Now I'm no expert on women, and neither is anyone on this forum to be honest, but here's what I think, take what you want from my advice.
She's probably confused about her feelings about you. She might be involved with someone else.
Or she's got some other issue to figure out... family, financial, personal etc. and isn't prioritizing you, which is fine if she's got some kind of issue like this.

At this point I'd say you should give her space, but talk to her as well without pressuring her. Eventually she'll open up to you if you stay with her long enough.

TL;DR: Wait it out.

Hope it all works out for you buddy, oh, and if I may ask, how has the sex been for the most part with these other girls?





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Default 11-10-2012, 11:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Insecurities View Post
Hmm..
First of all, I read all of this, if that makes you feel any better.
Second of all, the fact that you like this girl for more than just sex is great, and it's natural. At some point for most people just drifting around sleeping around isn't what you want anymore, and in my mind people who do settle for just that are scum.

Now I'm no expert on women, and neither is anyone on this forum to be honest, but here's what I think, take what you want from my advice.
She's probably confused about her feelings about you. She might be involved with someone else.
Or she's got some other issue to figure out... family, financial, personal etc. and isn't prioritizing you, which is fine if she's got some kind of issue like this.

At this point I'd say you should give her space, but talk to her as well without pressuring her. Eventually she'll open up to you if you stay with her long enough.

TL;DR: Wait it out.

Hope it all works out for you buddy, oh, and if I may ask, how has the sex been for the most part with these other girls?
Thanks for the reply, appreciate it. I was/still am expecting someone to comment taking the piss and try to make me rage.

I had thoughts over whether she may be seeing someone else or not, but I'm uncertain about that. She could however have some other stuff going on behind the scenes that she doesn't want to talk about which is fair enough.

I have been waiting it out for a good few days now. The only thing is that it feels like false-hope in case nothing comes out of it in the end.

The sex life has been good. I've had sex with 6 different girls in the space of 8 months, and I'm picky about who I sleep with so... Also, I've had kind of like a "friends with benefits" situation on the go but I dropped that because things were getting too clingy and I wasn't feeling the same way.


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Default 11-10-2012, 11:57 AM

I had this a while ago.

Long story short: She doesn't like you.

You better stop asking her. it'll only make you feel worse in the end.
  
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Default 11-10-2012, 12:01 PM

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Originally Posted by pureskilla View Post
I had this a while ago.

Long story short: She doesn't like you.

You better stop asking her. it'll only make you feel worse in the end.
I'm starting to think that may actually be the case. Thought process is; "maybe she's just saying she wants to do something because she doesn't want to let me down by saying no" and she's just bad at coming up with excuses to not do something... it's an absolute pain when you like them though.


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Default 11-10-2012, 12:05 PM

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Originally Posted by Pog View Post


I'm starting to think that may actually be the case. Thought process is; "maybe she's just saying she wants to do something because she doesn't want to let me down by saying no" and she's just bad at coming up with excuses to not do something... it's an absolute pain when you like them though.
^
I was lucky i had some good friends who told me to stop trying, i ignored them.

Worst thing i ever did, i ended up with no girlfriend + no friends.
  
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Default 11-10-2012, 12:07 PM

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Originally Posted by pureskilla View Post


^
I was lucky i had some good friends who told me to stop trying, i ignored them.

Worst thing i ever did, i ended up with no girlfriend + no friends.
Difference between my and your situation is that I've not got the chance to talk to my friends at the moment about it. I did have a little chat with one last night and he said to keep chasing her if I really like her. Which, looking back at, isn't looking like very good advice.


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Default 11-10-2012, 12:12 PM

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Originally Posted by Pog View Post


Difference between my and your situation is that I've not got the chance to talk to my friends at the moment about it. I did have a little chat with one last night and he said to keep chasing her if I really like her. Which, looking back at, isn't looking like very good advice.
See if she wants to do something again. If not, then confront her about it and tell her you really like her. If she doesn't budge then I'd suggest just moving on. There are plenty of fine women out there.





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Default 11-10-2012, 12:15 PM

Well, only thing i'm trying to say is, do not try to " hard "
It'll only fuck up your life.

The girl i had to deal with, was just as confusing as yours, i don't know it feels like they enjoy screwing up boys lifes.
  
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Default 11-10-2012, 12:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Insecurities View Post


See if she wants to do something again. If not, then confront her about it and tell her you really like her. If she doesn't budge then I'd suggest just moving on. There are plenty of fine women out there.
I will do. (Try)

Quote:
Originally Posted by pureskilla View Post
Well, only thing i'm trying to say is, do not try to " hard "
It'll only fuck up your life.

The girl i had to deal with, was just as confusing as yours, i don't know it feels like they enjoy screwing up boys lifes.
Women peck head. I swear, we refer to them as "birds" because they peck.

Pass me a cornetto.


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