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Reload this Page General relationship/love/sexual (?) advice for the majority of the forum users.


General relationship/love/sexual (?) advice for the majority of the forum users.
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Default General relationship/love/sexual (?) advice for the majority of the forum users. - 09-21-2012, 04:30 PM

Hello again,
I've been doing some lurking around the forums, and feel like writing again. This time about relationships/love/sex/girlfriends/girls in general for some of the users on this forum, particularly in the 14-16 age range.
Yes, I am aware that I am merely a few years older than that age group; I am 17, turning 18 in March, but anyway, here is my current situation with the topic at hand: I have been seeing a girl who I consider myself to be in love with for 8 months. She feels the same way I do about her.
Here was my situation from age 14-early 16: I had experienced my first girlfriend at age 14. Long story short, we saw each other for about 5 months on and off because she was bipolar and quite frankly, I was just horny. 'nuff said really, it was a toxic relationship I had going on. I broke up with her because I was moving anyway, yes, I got off easy... but the thing to take note of was my desperation at the time to just get a girlfriend. I had standards yes, but I pretty much jumped at the first chance to be in what one could call a relationship. To all of you aged between 14-17: don't do this. Do not cling onto your first girlfriend like I did, she is most likely not the one, and that thing telling you you love her? Yeah, that's just your penis.
Anyway, the whole relationship left me really insecure, and I pretty much stopped talking to girls for a good year just because I lacked confidence, but I see it as a good thing. It helped me think about what I wanted in a future relationship, what I needed in a girl to make more importantly her happy, and myself as well. This brings me to my next point: Do not try and force relationships. Let them happen naturally. For example, my first relationship was very, very forced. I pretty much had to make myself and her go out in order for us to go see each other. We did not like each other, yet we both stayed together so we could say we were with someone. My feelings for my current girlfriend developed naturally, over a period of starting off as friends, and eventually admitting my feelings for her and luckily having her feel the same way over that same period of time; and yes. as with every normal relationship, there are rough times, but if you genuinely love, or even like the person enough you will want to get through those times.
This brings me on to the next point: Sex, as well as the emotion of love.
I'll start off with sex, and my stance, experience on it. For me, as with most young teenagers, I wanted to lose my virginity as early as possible. This is partially why I went into that first relationship, and it did not end up working out. Thankfully. Over that year where I was without any female friends, I really reflected on the person I had been in that relationship. How desperate I was, how shameless. I didn't like that person, and so I changed myself. I didn't want to lose my virginity to some random girl who I'd forget and who'd forget me after high school. I wanted it to be a special experience, something I would hopefully never forget. I'm not going to go into detail about how or when it happened, but it did happen for me, and it was very special. I trusted the person (my current girlfriend) and I still do, and I know for a fact that even though the chances are we won't last past high school (she's a year younger than me, I graduate and move this year) we will still remember each other, and hopefully be friends. The moral of the story is: Don't make losing your virginity all about the sex. Make it about being with someone special, someone you can trust, because trust me on this one, no matter who you're with, when the time comes you're gonna be nervous as fuck, so would you rather be in that vulnerable state with someone who you trust and won't judge you? Or some random chick who'll probably laugh about it the next day and tell people about it?
The same goes for love. I won't go into much detail, because it's a bit redundant but basically, if you think you genuinely feel it in your heart, and you're comfortable with your partner, go ahead and tell her that. If she doesn't accept that and reacts negatively well then, she's probably not the right one for you.

Anyway... as usual this was a bit ramble-y, but as I've said before, this is all free writing. I don't plan this stuff out, I just go. If you read all the way down to here, then you must have the patience of a saint. I applaud you.

TL;DR: When it comes to relationships, love, and sex. Don't rush. You got your whole life ahead of you. Those special experiences WILL happen, you just gotta wait for them to come to you.

EDIT: It was around 2am when I wrote this. Forgive any mistakes.

Last edited by Insecurities; 09-21-2012 at 04:44 PM.
  
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Default 09-21-2012, 04:42 PM

Adore and share your views on sex and relationships and can admit to saying i was the same... wanting to get into that quick first relationship and then reflecting.


  
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Default 09-21-2012, 04:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayu10 View Post
Adore and share your views on sex and relationships and can admit to saying i was the same... wanting to get into that quick first relationship and then reflecting.
Self-reflection I find is a man's best tool in becoming a better person overall.
  
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