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Relationship help!@
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Exclamation Relationship help!@ - 05-31-2013, 05:52 AM

Hi guys, this might also be related to (Advice Section) but anyways this is my situation might take a while to read but i seriously dont know what to do at this stage and i feel as if its getting worse.

Alright now, there is this girl i like right now and have for about 4 months or so. She was the one infact that striked our conversations back in February as i didnt realise till later on (3 weeks later) she said she liked me a lot and found she could relate to me quite a bit. Now little did i know she just came off liking my good friend in January but she never told him, just the same reaction he got by her starting the conversations over facebook and gradually he liked her as well but he was too clingy so she came to like me. She's been telling me how shes liked me for 2 years now but had a different boyfriend and even liked me during that relationship but never told me. Anyways during our facebook convos of the first month we spend countless hours talking and really getting closer and closer. We share texts,skype calls/msg and have over 8000 facebook messages in total! Now its been around 3 months and during the last month of April she stated that she wanted to really be with me and that even if i hurt her and we went out she wouldnt care because we are that close, so i took her out on 2 dates since then. Now in the month of May we have had exams coming up and in Australia being year 11 is like the second last year of school before University so its a big deal. She being a good Psychology student has been offered to do year 12 Psych so shes been under constant stress to do well during our assessed tasks and shit but yer. Ever since these tests coming up shes show less and less enthusiasm towards us in general and i've told her countless times that i will be supportive and stick by her no matter what, not trying to be overly attached but i really care for her. Now shes saying that she doesnt want a serious relationship and shes not ready for it yet because she suffers from anxiety attacks (serious ones) and she was really broken after her last bf thus making it harder on me to want to follow my heart and ask her to be my gf. Now with the exams coming up i feel like one she doesnt want me to be so into it because she might like me but im getting the impression she just wants to be close friends rather than bf and gf, now her stress has kicked in with exams for both of us in fact and shes had 2 anxiety attacks since, but also her family is under pressure with lose of jobs and low on income, so now shes also feeling depressed. I constantly continue to tell her how im always right beside her and if she needs anything im here. Also most of our talking has taken place mainly over social media which is bad because its not in person and i feel as if i should really settle her down and talk to her and really state how i feel and that i care for her so much, rather than saying this over fb. But now ive noticed that kid i mentioned earlier that she liked in January, he still hasnt gotten over her and has also asked to go out sometimes, but in her eyes they are just gatherings, in his, its mainly a date. At school i see her all the time yet never seem to get the chance to really talk and have a simple conversation, she wants our relationship to be on the low so we dont spark up that other kid from being pissed off but also rumours to spread. At one stage she said if you want feel free to leave me i dont mind, you can get in with any other girl and i responded no you dont get it i dont want any other girl i chose you <3 and She plain and simply just wrote I dont feel chosen.. Like how am i suppose to show you i really want you but cant really in school because we are on the low, every time we are out i show her that i care but i feel that it isnt enough.

Now my position as of today she has told me she can't and repeats "can't" numerous times with dealing with all the bullshit drama going on with her family which she needs to sort out and said she cant have me being all into it because she cant feel that way under all this stress. i told her she cant change the way i think and feel for her but i can be her closest friend for now until everythings better She feels as if she gives to everyone but doesnt get anything in return, i see that in my case me not showing her shes the chosen one for me so its quite a shit situation. I feel as if that kid is going to come between her and me, her family is causing depression to fall upon her, her studies are making her seem stressed and suffering anxiety attacks and now i think she feels like shes given all she can to me but hasnt received lets say "love" in return :/ I simply dont know what to do in this situation.

Like i really want to sit her down and say everything is going to be alright, you are strong and you can fight through this. But also keep my distant and give her space because shes in the process to fix her issues and now about to have exams it will be rough. As for the kid, hes asked her to do some study next week, even though i did that with her countless times, but im not so much worried about him She needs to find her inner self because she in my eyes is mentally unstable and physically ill for all these issues. I've decided after our exams in 2 weeks i will take her out on a massive date all day and night so she can relax and not worry about work anymore which will be good for us to get away and she can forget about her problems. Now with her liking me, our families are really close family friends and we see each other everyday at school, and her brothers on my soccer team so we see the parents every saturday but also every other week or so we have bbq's so she feels as if she doesnt want to hurt me if we started dating. And if any of us happened to break the relationship, she feels as if she cannot mentally go and be friends with that person ever again which makes it harder for me because i really really adore this person, and it will be my first major major relationship since 3 years ago so its needed for me but i cant seem to handle what shes going through and there is literally no one else like her so thats why i've chosen her.

What do i do about this situation, i'm giving her time and space through out the dilemmas but also i feel as if she will never see the dating part to be considered an option, which sucks because im not the girl hoping guy. I've only ever had 4 gf's over my life each going for more than 4 months, and this one alone has been just full on into one another talking for that period of time. We draw each other pictures, send cute messages and emotes all the time. I even adopted the name "Tiger" for her which she has now ended up calling me.
What i'm trying to say is that I dont know how to come about this I really want this to work out but its soo screwed, i just want her to be happy and have me in her life yet not stress over little shit that will be fixed over time but i'm not seeing this at this stage.

If you have any advice on how to come about it and how to fix things up, even with me showing her i really care and want this at school or even outside please please help and comment

this is Runeexoticx on second forums acc
peace Silab Community <3
  
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Default 05-31-2013, 05:59 AM

I only got half way through and could see the problem right away. She's got bored. Girls get bored around your age, that's just how it is. There is honestly absolutely no other reason behind it. Ignore all this anxiety stuff that she's talking about. If that were the actual problem, she wouldn't have looked for a partner in the first place.

I strongly advise you to find someone else. There'll be two outcomes, you either:

A) Actually find a girl you like and likes you back

B) Present yourself in a different light to this current girl you're mentioning and she'll start to take interest in you again

Don't waste your time on girls that don't have time for you either.




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Default 05-31-2013, 06:03 AM

Thanks man i can see where you are coming from and never saw it that way because we talked for ages everyday until the month that kicked in our exams and she suddenly became stressed, but now that i see it she didnt mention going out alot, i took her on 2 dates and saw her everyday but felt secluded from being able to express myself in school, only whilst outside
  
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Default 05-31-2013, 08:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Welshboy View Post
I only got half way through and could see the problem right away. She's got bored. Girls get bored around your age, that's just how it is. There is honestly absolutely no other reason behind it. Ignore all this anxiety stuff that she's talking about. If that were the actual problem, she wouldn't have looked for a partner in the first place.

I strongly advise you to find someone else. There'll be two outcomes, you either:

A) Actually find a girl you like and likes you back

B) Present yourself in a different light to this current girl you're mentioning and she'll start to take interest in you again

Don't waste your time on girls that don't have time for you either.
been on both ends of that scenario tbh.

I'm mostly with Ross on this situation but if she isn't 'bored' just do as your doing and support her through the situations. exams can be stressful as fuck, if you want to keep the interest sparked do what you were thinking of, the big date.

Sometimes you have to experiment and do your own thing rather than getting told/advised on what to do! Vm me if you want to have a chat about it i can help you out a bit more if you ask me some specific questions, etc.


If you give a fuck what people think, you're not going to get anywhere



  
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Default 05-31-2013, 08:52 AM

Thanks for your feedback, i know asking for advice is the least of what i wanted to do, but its come down to the stage were i dont want to be friendzoned after all we shared non stop for 4 months straight just to make what? Our friendship that little bit stronger? If that makes sense, and i will pm you if i need something, thanks for the offer, i will probably use my main account after i get it back hopefully soon names just #Runeexoticx

Also I asked for a a girls intake on this and she too said the same thing, stick with what you feel is right and keep on her that you care and show her that, but for now give her the time and space for the next two weeks.
  
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Default 05-31-2013, 09:28 AM

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Originally Posted by Runeexoticx#2 View Post
Thanks for your feedback, i know asking for advice is the least of what i wanted to do, but its come down to the stage were i dont want to be friendzoned after all we shared non stop for 4 months straight just to make what? Our friendship that little bit stronger? If that makes sense, and i will pm you if i need something, thanks for the offer, i will probably use my main account after i get it back hopefully soon names just #Runeexoticx

Also I asked for a a girls intake on this and she too said the same thing, stick with what you feel is right and keep on her that you care and show her that, but for now give her the time and space for the next two weeks.
There's no such thing as the friendzone so don't worry about it. The friendzone is another word for cowardice created by shy men. If you ask a girl out, the absolute worst she can do is say no, which let's be honest, isn't the end of the world.

Your relationship with her will most likely die, as it usually does. So be prepared for that.




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Default 05-31-2013, 09:31 AM

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Originally Posted by Welshboy View Post


There's no such thing as the friendzone so don't worry about it. The friendzone is another word for cowardice created by shy men. If you ask a girl out, the absolute worst she can do is say no, which let's be honest, isn't the end of the world.

Your relationship with her will most likely die, as it usually does. So be prepared for that.
Friendzone is also a pathetic excuse men use to say they didn't get rejected. Instead of having to admit that they got a no they say "oh I got friendzoned" to make themselves seem like the better person.





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Default 05-31-2013, 09:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Insecurities View Post


Friendzone is also a pathetic excuse men use to say they didn't get rejected. Instead of having to admit that they got a no they say "oh I got friendzoned" to make themselves seem like the better person.
I agree. I've had women say no to me many times, but I've also had a lot that have said yes. But then again, I've also had my fair share of stalkers and weirdos too. It works both ways.

Anyway, regarding the original poster, keep us updated and if any more problems arise, you can always ask myself or some of our other more social members.




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Last edited by Welshboy; 05-31-2013 at 09:52 AM.
  
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Default 05-31-2013, 04:12 PM

Thanks guys, and yer i used friendzone as just a thought im getting she has yet to decline anything, she just seems so negative over having me like her at this time over all this pressure by the issues she faces that she just wants to be close friends for now. So its not like shes said no to being my gf nor has she declined ever being my gf as she said at one stage months back "When the times right i would love to call you my guy". I just dont want to her to as you said "waist my time" if thats the case. 4 months and nothing happening? and the guy who also likes her is pretty much in the middle of this and i cant tell if shes accepting him into her life more of like a person she would have a relationship, i cant tell because they've never gone on dates and the last 4 months shes been with me but the kid is asking her to all these outings like a stalker/weir do which is that one thing she hated, his over obsessiveness with him liking her, making her just let go and come to like me a lot more, but this kid simply wont let go that easily, and worst part is, hes like both me and my crush's best friend so he will be really upset with her and avoid her, and really pissed off with me if he found out, or as i see it, be a best friend that you are and accept our decision.

thanks for your feedback, i'll keep you updated indeed, our exams are this week and next coming, so it will be interesting
  
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Default 05-31-2013, 04:17 PM

She's gotten bored.
find somone else (move on)


  
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