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Default Hmm - 09-08-2013, 07:34 PM

Never once asked for any relationship advice on the internet, but it's worth a shot.

So, me and my girlfriend have a happy relationship, there's not any issues, just something I'm more or less battling with myself. I'm 21, I'm mature, level headed and I think rationally, but for some reason, this has me stumped. I love spending time with her. If she wants time alone, to herself, or to go hanging out with a friend/friend come over, and not text the whole time/most of it, I shouldn't be worrying, right?

It's just, my mind likes to think on it's own and put the situation in the absolute worth scenario that could happen. Something could happen, like this, and my mind automatically thinks something along the lines of:

"Oh, she's bored with me."
"She wants away from me."
"Does she still love me?"

Yea.. It's just something I need to work on, but I've never asked advice/help from anyone about it.




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Default 09-08-2013, 07:40 PM

Lots of people get a tiny bit 'paranoid' about things like that, it's just how people's minds work.
But just think, if it was you and you were feeling like that you wouldn't stay with her and be unhappy, so if she's still with you then she's clearly not feeling like that
  
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Default 09-08-2013, 07:41 PM

Feeling worried/jealous/whatever is normal. Just remember that you're both still young, so you should expect her to want to have fun on her own. If you trust her, then there shouldn't be too much worry. If you REALLY don't like it, then it may be best to let her know to at least let you know how she's doing and such. That might sound like the option that'll only work in a perfect world, but hey, you never know.

If you think she's bored with you, then try some new things from time to time. You're 21, so you have the full array of life to work with.



  
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Default 09-08-2013, 07:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
Lots of people get a tiny bit 'paranoid' about things like that, it's just how people's minds work.
But just think, if it was you and you were feeling like that you wouldn't stay with her and be unhappy, so if she's still with you then she's clearly not feeling like that
Yea, that makes sense. That's what I really need to get through my head and understand. If she was tired or done with me, then she wouldn't be with me. I just always feel like she doesn't want to hurt me, but she's the type that would talk to me on the side, saying she'd think it's best if we separated.


Thanks, Ashton. Nice to see you say something that's not trolling.



@天使: Yea, I understand. The thing is, I know she's not doing anything wrong in my heart, I do trust her and know she's loyal, but my mind likes to think otherwise.




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Default 09-08-2013, 07:47 PM

Shes staying with you for a reason, she must like you, don't worry about it, But I understand your paranoia


  
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Default 09-08-2013, 07:58 PM

It sounds like you're protective of her. That's okay though, because it shows how you genuinely love and care about her. However, you don't want to become too overprotective.
Periods of time away from each other won't harm your relationship; in fact, people say it strengthen relationships.

If she wants time alone, or time to hang out with her friends, then so be it. There are moments when girls just need some "girl time."
Constantly worrying about where she is, or what she's doing, won't help either of you.
Don't think about the worst possible scenario; your mind will play tricks on you and ultimately make things worse.

tl;dr - Give her space if she wants it. Have confidence in her, and believe that she loves you.

Spoiler


  
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Default 09-08-2013, 08:01 PM

Sometimes spending a lot of time with each other can prove to be negative to a relationship...some people like time to themselves or spending it with their friends and it's pretty normal...

Maybe she was talking and such with her friends and couldn't text...or in general paying attention to their friends since in my opinion using your phone is pretty rude especially when someone is telling you something...

But what am I supposed to know? I'm an inexperienced teenager and you're an adult...but I guess this was my piece of cake on this matter you've posted about...

But don't be worried or anything but if you are then just ask her but NOT INTERROGATE HER on what she had done in the day...seem interested in what she did and such...but DON'T SOUND LIKE YOU ARE INTERROGATING HER.
  
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Default 09-08-2013, 08:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizzy View Post
It sounds like you're protective of her. That's okay though, because it shows how you genuinely love and care about her. However, you don't want to become too overprotective.
Periods of time away from each other won't harm your relationship; in fact, people say it strengthen relationships.

If she wants time alone, or time to hang out with her friends, then so be it. There are moments when girls just need some "girl time."
Constantly worrying about where she is, or what she's doing, won't help either of you.
Don't think about the worst possible scenario; your mind will play tricks on you and ultimately make things worse.

tl;dr - Give her space if she wants it. Have confidence in her, and believe that she loves you.

Spoiler

You're silly, that wasn't bad. I understand where you'd coming from, and I really appreciate your comment. Hearing another girl say what you
did just proves I have nothing to worry about.

Thank you, Lizzy.

@Celestial



Quote:
Originally Posted by Zakii View Post
Sometimes spending a lot of time with each other can prove to be negative to a relationship...some people like time to themselves or spending it with their friends and it's pretty normal...

Maybe she was talking and such with her friends and couldn't text...or in general paying attention to their friends since in my opinion using your phone is pretty rude especially when someone is telling you something...

But what am I supposed to know? I'm an inexperienced teenager and you're an adult...but I guess this was my piece of cake on this matter you've posted about...

But don't be worried or anything but if you are then just ask her but NOT INTERROGATE HER on what she had done in the day...seem interested in what she did and such...but DON'T SOUND LIKE YOU ARE INTERROGATING HER.
I agree with that part, and your comment means a lot. Thank you.




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